


The Boy Who Cried I Love You

by TheReluctantBlue



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 15:20:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7367014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheReluctantBlue/pseuds/TheReluctantBlue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 times Brendon said 'I love you' and one time he finally meant it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Boy Who Cried I Love You

1: "I love you, man."

Dallon isn't sure how to take those words well. It might be purely out of adrenaline for Brendon to say that. It's those post-concert effects.

It still doesn't stop him from blushing at such words.

Brendon hangs off with an arm around his shoulder. He leans his weight against his tall stature despite all of them being a sweaty mess. He knows the vocalist tends to be touchy when he's concert-high, and when he's in a good mood.

"Have a drink with us, man. We should celebrate!" The shorter man cheered as he drags Dallon by the shoulder with Spencer and Zack.

 _'This is fine.'_ Dallon thought. They were just friends. He knows Brendon didn't meant it like he would hope. 

 _'As long as I don't get myself attached, I'll be fine."_ He reassured himself as they made their way to the local bar and celebrate the success of another concert.

*

2: "Love you, Dal!"

It was just a suggestion, really. Brendon was having trouble adding a melody for the song he was composing for someone, and Dallon contributed.

He didn't expect receiving such words and a full body hug from the younger vocalist. It made his stomach flutter and his face warm at the gesture he's been given. Dallon hopes Brendon couldn't hear the fast beating of his heart at their close proximity.

The singer pulls away to look at him. His hands are now touching the side of his face. Brendon gives him a soft, thankful gaze. "I owe you a lot, man."

Dallon smiles at him, hoping the warmth on his cheeks is just from the summer heat. "You're welcome."

The other man gives him a grin before pulling away and went to Spencer's side to show him the new song that he helped Brendon with. The drummer turns his gaze at him, giving him a knowing, sympathetic look.

Dallon knows there's no meaning to it. He keeps telling himself that Brendon's just an affectionate kid and did those gestures out of habit. He knows. Brendon is already in a relationship, for goodness sake. But the look that Spencer gave him stung. It was clear that he will never have anything more than just a friendly hug and a casual declamation of an _I love you_.

Who are kidding, Weekes? Why did you even think Brendon would ever develop feelings for you?

*

3: "I love this guy!"

Brendon was never afraid of his statements in his interviews. If he hates something, he would tell you reasons why you should hate it. It's also the same when he tells you about the things he loves.

"This guy is just really creative, you know?" Brendon explains as the interviewers take note of his statements regarding his work process with Dallon. Dallon just listens attentively, looking down at his hands with rosy tints on his cheeks and a shy, humble smile.

"Well, I'm not quite a musical genius as this guy." Dallon adds, which made Brendon chuckle and the interviewers smile at the response.

Brendon announces the release of _Vices & Virtues_ and the concert dates for this year's tour. 

"So, Brendon. I hear you made a song for a special someone in this latest album. Can you tell me who's the lucky person?" The interviewer asked excitedly with a gleam in her eyes.

Dallon felt his heart sink at the question. He knows damn well who that song is for.

The fact that he helped Brendon with it is like adding salt to the wound.

"It's for Sarah, my girlfriend." Brendon announces proudly, but the blush on his cheeks indicate how the answer he gave sounds a bit cheesy in nationwide television.

The interview ended after a few more questions, and they were set to go back to their hotel.

"You okay, Dal? I know you're a quiet guy but your sudden silence bothers me." The younger man asked with concern laced in his voice. 

Dallon didn't have the guts to look at him in the eye. Not without breaking his heart.

"I'm just really tired." It's not much of a lie when he feels emotionally drained.

Brendon takes that as an answer and gives him the space he deserves. He could see the singer smiling as he starts to tap away on his phone. Dallon knows who could make Brendon smile like that.

And that person isn't him.

*

4: "I just, love you and the guys."

Brendon said to him before he left to welcome his other guests. Clinks of wine glass, loud music and the sound of cheers from Brendon's rowdy friends could make the whole house fall down.

Parties aren't Dallon's thing. Not much.

So how was he suppose to stomach a whole night of a Bachelor's party from Brendon?

Thankfully, Spencer doesn't seem to mind his company. Brendon handles his other friends while he and Spencer sit on the couch with drinks on hand.

"Are you okay?" Spencer asked. Dallon doesn't need to look at him to see the expression he's making. He probably just feels bad for him.

He chugs his drink in full, and places it in the coffee table in front of him as he finished. Dallon settles himself on the couch, lying his head against the soft cushions as he puts an arm over his eyes. Spencer doesn't seem fazed at the action. He's just waiting for Dallon to respond as he sits beside him.

"No, I'm not okay." He says weakly. The statement was probably more for himself than an actual response to Spencer.

Spencer hums beside him. Part thoughtful, part apology in his situation.

"Brendon isn't really the most brightest person when it comes to those things. He'll only get it when you tell him in person."

Dallon chuckles bitterly, at the thought of that engagement ring gleaming on Brendon's finger. "Spence, I think we all know it's too late for that now." 

That made the drummer silent, and Dallon felt nothing.

He felt the couch shift beside him, leaving a vacant place on his side. Dallon felt a hand grip on his shoulder. A silent apology.

"You'll find someone you deserve, Dallon." Spencer says as he squeezes on his shoulder in assurance before he left. Probably to find Brendon among the sea of people.

 _"Second boys will be first choice to somebody better than you."_ He softly sings to himself, while letting himself drown by the flood of emotions, the cacophonous chatter and the sound of the blasting music surrounding him.

*

5: "You know I love you no matter what, right?"

Dallon just nods, and smiles at the newly wed singer chatting with him.

Brendon and Sarah had a beautiful garden wedding, and those invited were in awe at such reception. He knows a few guest had shed a few tears of happiness for the lovely couple. Dallon couldn't blame them. 

This is the happiest he's ever seen of Brendon, and Dallon is okay with that. He's finally come in terms with the whole thing, or he tries, for Brendon's sake, and for his.

Dallon could at least say that he's very happy on where he is right now.

"I'm happy for you, Bren. You deserve it." It was the truth. It lifted the heavy weight on his chest in saying those words.

Brendon gives him a teary, genuine smile. And Dallon knows that everything will be okay.

It'll be okay.

*

+1: _"I'm in love with you."_

Brendon cradles his phone, holding it against his ear as he sends a message on Dallon's phone. He knows he sent 18 calls that only went to Dallon's voicemail. The other man isn't answering.

_"Sarah and I... We aren't so good. I couldn't lie to her anymore, so I told her the truth. I told her I've fallen in love with someone else. I didn't tell her it was you. I couldn't even tell you it was you."_

Brendon lets out a choked sob, as tears start to fall down to his cheeks. He knows no one will answer these messages he sent to Dallon. Dallon changed his number months ago. He's calling the other man from his old phone number that the bassist never uses anymore.

Dallon has sent him a dozen of worried text messages from a new number: _'Where are you, Bren??', 'Brendon, talk to me. I'm getting worried.', 'Spence told me everything.', 'Bren, I'm here for you. Talk to me, please?'._

Brendon didn't have the courage to call him on that new number of his.

He didn't have the guts to tell Dallon what he feels, now that he knows he's happy with Breezy. He doesn't want to ruin that.

But if there was a chance. At least one chance for him to do this, he wants to try. Maybe... Just maybe...

 _'Brendon? Brendon! Are you okay?'_ Dallon's voice calls out from the receiver as he answered the bassist's call.

Brendon closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath.

"I love you, Dallon."

He knows that those three words could potentially ruin his relationship with his bassist. But Brendon was never one to think of the consequences before he speaks.

_'Where are you right now? Are you drunk? I'll take you home. I could call Spence--'_

He's forgotten the number of beers he's drank right now. But he couldn't do this without the alcohol in his system to fuel him in this confession.

"No. I'm not d-d-drunk. I don't need you to take me home. I'm pouring my heart out to you and tell you I l-love you. I'm in love with you. Will you listen to me for just one goddamn m-minute!?" Brendon tugs on his hair, letting out a sigh in frustration. 

Dallon didn't respond to those words, but he didn't hang up.

"...Dallon, I--"

 _'I've listened to you say those words for years, Brendon. I know you don't mean them in a way you think you do.'_ Dallon jokes as he  chuckles lightly from the other line, but he couldn't hear how Brendon's heart is breaking from his answer.

"Dallon, I'm telling the truth--"

' _Brendon.'_

He knows that tone. He knows Dallon doesn't want him to say it. He knows Dallon will tell him he's just intoxicated. He knows it means No. 

Dallon sighs from the other line, and replies in almost a whispered confession. ' _I'm sorry.'_

Brendon doesn't know what Dallon is apologizing for. It's either he's saying sorry that he can't love Brendon the way he loves him, or that he's saying sorry that they can never be together the way he'd want to. 

He doesn't want to know, because he can never have both.

"Okay." He chokes out on the phone, as his tears resume to fall from his eyes.

_'Come on, let's take you home.'_

And so, he let's himself be taken home, with Dallon taking him back to his once solace of a dream he had with his wife and two dogs.

Brendon doesn't know who he's crying for. Maybe it's for the lost of presence that his wife provides.

But he knows in his heart that it's because of this man holding him. It's because of this man who allowed him to cry on his shoulder. It's because of this man who brought him safely to the comfort of his home.

"Brendon, you should sleep." Dallon says softly as he helps the singer lay on his bed. He felt the warmth of the comforter placed over him.

He couldn't open his eyes. It's from the intoxication, he's sure of it. 

Or he just didn't have the courage to look at Dallon again without breaking down and make himself look pathetic.

"I-If you can't love me now, will you l-love me in the morning?" He did not care if his voice broke and begged in this drunken stupor. Brendon just wants Dallon to love him back.

He felt the warmth of the bassist's calloused hand on his forehead, brushing the strands of hair away from his face.

"Goodnight, Brendon."

A soft kiss was left on his skin, as if it gave all the answers. He just didn't know if it was an **_I love you too_** or a **_Goodbye_**.

Maybe he'll know in the morning.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry. Please don't kill me.
> 
> So, the concept of this story was based from the Aesop's fable, The Boy Who Cried Wolf. In this scenario, Brendon kept saying I love you to Dallon to the point where Dallon got tired and didn't believe those words anymore. 
> 
> I was reading bed time stories for my six year old sister when I thought about this prompt. Kind of open ended with the ending. Feel free to make the ending you want for this.
> 
> Sorry for the mistakes on this one! I hope you have a nice day!


End file.
